6 Steps to Confidence Building

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It’s a well-known fact that you’ll struggle to achieve what you really want in life without a good old dose of self confidence. A state of inner confidence is only achieved through a balanced mixture of high self-esteem, realistic belief in yourself, a good measure of self-respect and an accurate positive self-image.

The way you feel about yourself, how you see yourself and how you believe others see you, is a key issue in many people’s lives. It is the foundation upon which you build your successes and the shaky ground on which your failures occur. By building self confidence and belief in your own abilities you will be able to recognise and take advantage of more of the opportunities that come your way, that up until now have gone unnoticed. You will also have the strength and inner belief that is essential in overcoming the inevitable pitfalls and obstacles that life throws at you. By developing this aspect of your personality, you can achieve the goals that up until now have felt impossible.

Each time you put your new found confidence to the test and discover that you are a winner, you will strengthen it massively and move forward in your own personal development at greater speed than you could ever imagine. Your belief in yourself will grow with each new challenge until you begin to see challenges, not only through the eyes of a person who believes in themselves but also, as someone who knows they can achieve anything — because you begin to see yourself as a person who has the confidence in their abilities to find a way to do it!

When Hannibal told his generals that he wanted to cross the Alps, with about 38,000 infantry, 8,000 cavalry, and 37 war elephants, to reach Italy and attack Rome the replies were unanimous, “It can’t be done!”. Hannibal’s reply to this is now a famous quote, “We will find a way or we will make one!” Such was the confidence he had in his own abilities.

Here are some points to follow that will help you boost confidence:

As best you can, stop berating and judging yourself harshly. There are numerous people in the world who will jump at the chance to do that for you, so be gentle with yourself and recognise that your mistakes are merely learning opportunities. Keep in mind that your words have power. They direct your thinking. When you speak in a certain way you begin to formulate ideas and beliefs which are in harmony with the words you are using. These beliefs in turn have a major impact on the action you take and the way you conduct yourself throughout your life. So, choose words that uplift you, encourage and strengthen you and go easy on yourself when you make a mistake. Recognise what you can learn from it and move on.

Seek out the company of people you want to emulate. Look for self-confident people to mirror. Watch the way they walk and how they talk. Put yourself in positive environments as much as you can. Your environment and the people around you dramatically affect your level of confidence whether you realise it or not. Immerse yourself in people who build you up but that are honest and forthright with you. These are the type of people who will show you where you can improve while also reinforcing that you can do it and that the job you have done so far is great. They can help you work on your faults while praising you with each step forward you take.

Negative people only pull you down and should be avoided whenever and wherever possible. If they cannot be avoided, then distance yourself and spend less time with them. If someone tells you often enough that you can’t do something you will begin to believe them, and this will form as a negative belief within yourself.

Be a person who is true to their word — do what you say you’re going to do. Take action when you vow to take action. Follow through on your plans even if it initially looks like there is no way forward. That doesn’t mean being inflexible. Of course there will be times when you need to compromise and alter your goals and plans but always stay true to yourself and your vision. I promise you another way will present itself once you open up to the opportunities around you. If you give up, you will seriously damage your confidence!

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A key point to remember is that there is no such thing as failure — you only fail when you give up! If you keep on keeping on, trying different approaches and staying true to your ideal, you will eventually succeed. The knock-on effect is that your confidence in yourself will grow and you will also have the added knowledge of what not to do next time. Failure is the greatest teacher but only if you learn from it and use it to your advantage!

Feel the fear and do it anyway! If you stand up and face that thing that you are most afraid of and do it anyway very often the fear disappears. If it doesn’t the first time, it will the second, third or fourth. Doing this will prove to your subconscious mind that nothing bad occurred from taking that action. For example; you will find that talking to that person didn’t make you stop breathing or giving a lecture didn’t make you die, or walking across the bridge wasn’t life-threatening and so on!

Keep a diary of all your achievements no matter how small and don‘t let others ridicule you for it. Many times in life we fail to acknowledge the progress we are making simply because ‘we can’t see the wood for the trees’. We get caught up in the big picture and don’t see the smaller gains that are actually getting us closer to our goal. Think of a time when you met someone you hadn’t seen in years. Do you remember noticing how much they had changed? You could see it yet to their family, close friends and people who see them every day the changes would have been almost inviable!

Take the time to write down every little gain you make. Soon you will be able to read back over it and really see just how far you have come. Write down the fears you faced, how you faced them and obstacles you overcame. Explain how you felt before and how you felt after. This will help keep you motivated in times of internal struggle and show you just how far you have come in your journey to more self-confidence.

Finally, when you go to bed at night let your mind think of all the achievements you had during the day and week and month. No matter how small these achievements may seem give yourself credit for all of them. Upon waking in the morning set your intention for the day. Visualize yourself for a few minutes beaming with joy and confidence as the day unfolds and you will literally set yourself up for a successful day. Do this each and every day and you will flip the switch in your mind to create a happier, more confident YOU!


You too can take action, gain confidence and get yourself unstuck with the help of my guide 12 Ways to Step in to your Confidence.




Faye is a Mindset & Confidence Coach who works with a range of ambitious individuals and Mums in Business world-wide.

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Faye Cox

Faye Cox

Faye is a Mindset & Confidence Coach who works with a range of ambitious individuals and Mums in Business world-wide.

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